Mini Series Review : V (1983 & 1984)

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This review covers both the original mini-series "V" and the second mini-series "V : the Final Battle".

Due to the upcoming remake of the V series, the Sci-Fi Channel (I refuse to call it by the new, idiotic name) aired both of the V minis in their entirety.  Thanks to modern technology (DVR) I was able to watch them over a few days.  And I have to say, that I was pleasantly surprised.

As a child of the 80's I was exposed to and enjoyed a lot of television.  Things like Knight Rider, Street Hawk, Dukes of Hazzard, Buck Rogers, and Galactica 1980.  Unfortunately when I look back on those same shows as an adult I tend to be rather disappointed, and wonder what the hell I was thinking at the time.  So, I sat down to watch "V" with the anticipation that I would feel the same about it.  But I didn't.  I was amazed at how well done it was.  In spite of Marc Singer in a starring role (half-opened shirt and all), it still works and is still good.

The story was very detailed, and was presented in a way that gave little pieces of the puzzle along the way.  The dialog was rarely cheesy, and the mention of the World War II atrocities is done in a way that not only makes sense, but actually belongs in this story.  The characters, even the minor ones, are fleshed out pretty well, and you understand their feelings and motivations.  The make-up effects aren't too bad in spite of the challenge of making a human into a lizard pretending to be a human, without the availability of CGI.  The special effects are very good for their time, and not so bad by today's standards, and are not over-used.  Even the set design was done in a realistic manner that doesn't go over the top like other sci-fi of the time.

The minis were well written, well designed, well acted, and well directed.  They were very good at not being blatantly 80's in clothing and hair styles.  And aside from a few things that seemed to be put in toward the end to wrap up the story, the story was very good.  Although I must admit, the hybrid babies... yeah, those were amazingly cheesy.  Once again, obviously written in to help wrap up the story.

So, after sitting through 10 and a half hours of lizard people taking over the Earth, I can safely say that I could recommend seeing it today.  Now hopefully the new series will be just as good.

I'm going to give these mini-series a KATANA with a mirror finish, so it has a chance of deflecting alien laser fire.

-Mornblade

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Movie Review : They Live (1988)

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The people over at ChicagoFootballChili have asked me to review John Carpenter's They Live.  As it's the first request I've ever received, I can't very well say "no" (besides, they gave me some very tasty chili to sweeten the request).  It was also very easy for me to sit down and watch the film for review, as it happens to be one of the DVDs in my personal collection.

At first look, many people wouldn't think that They Live is worth the price of rental.  It has a second-string cast that is quarterbacked by a professional wrestler.  The almost all of the sets are very simple, and a good chunk of the film is in black and white.  Oddly, these things really help to make the whole thing work.

The film is directed and screen-written by the amazing John Carpenter (whose hit film credits are too long to list here).  Carpenter is a master of horror (although this is a science fiction flick) and, in spite of the size of the budget, has very few "not so good" movies to his credit.  He is a classic example of someone who knows how to get the best out of a cast, crew, script, set, and budget.  And this film was no exception.

The movie shows a time where the middle class is being dismantled and leaving only the rich and the poor.  Work is hard enough to find, but job sites are often littered with illegal immigrants doing the work.  Our nomadic hero, played by Roddy Piper, comes into town looking for work.  In a short time he befriends others who are on hard times, and tries to make an honest dollar for an honest day's work.  One of the others is Frank (Keith David) who used to work in a steel mill.  At one point he tells Roddy, "We gave the steel companies a break when they needed it.  You know what they gave themselves?  Raises." (sound familiar?  think bank bail-outs).  Then Roddy discovers something strange going on at a church.  Before he can find out what it is, the church is raided in the middle of the night.  He goes there and finds, hidden in a wall, a box of sunglasses.  At first he can't understand why someone was smuggling sunglasses, but then he tries them on, and everything is suddenly black and white... literally.  The glasses allow him to see how reality really is.  And it ain't pretty.

At this point I'd like to point out that the second-string cast helps to make this work.  They look like average people that you may have seen on the street, people like you and me.  The dull sets look like real places, not sets at all.  And the black and white footage makes gives an interesting meaning to the glasses, suggesting that the reality of the events of the film really ARE a matter of black and white.

Back to the film... Aliens have taken over the earth.  They are our politicians, our reporters, our celebrities, and most of our upper class (this isn't a very big stretch).  There are remote cameras watching what we do, people will sell out their friends and family to be wealthy, and those people who are truly good and honest just want to live their lives and not make waves (once again, not a big stretch).  And seeing reality can give you a splitting headache.

At this point, Roddy decides that he must chew bubblegum and kick-ass... unfortunately for the aliens, there appears to be a bubblegum shortage (thank you to Keltoi and the Events of Futures Passed timeline).  Along the way he meets Holly (Meg Foster, who has the freakiest eye color of any human being), who tries to kill him, but then apologizes.  He also encounters another drifter who tells him, "There ain't no countries anymore, no more good guys, They are running the whole show." (global economy, anyone?).  Roddy is also told to the very last, by the "sell outs", that he should give up, and that he can't win, regardless of how close to winning he gets.

While re-watching this 21 year old movie, I couldn't help but notice the similarities with our modern society, economy, and work places.  John Carpenter did a wonderful job envisioning the world of today, 2 decades ago.  The cast does a very good job, and all of the characters are believable.  Everything is done well and looks good in spite of the minimal special effects.  And like any true hero, we never find out the nomad's name.  Roddy Piper is in the credits as playing "Nada". 

If pressed for a list of truly must-see movies, I'd put this one on the list.  The impromptu boxing/wrestling match in the alley alone is worth the price of rental.  Please keep in mind, though wonderfully done and philosophically deep, it is still a lower budget film, so don't be expecting it to knock your socks off.

I'm going to give this movie a KATANA, that is all out of bubblegum.

-Mornblade

For a second opinion see a review at Boxwatcher.net

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Movie Review : Catwoman (2004)

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This was one of those films that I had been dreading.  I had heard nothing but bad things about it, so I went in expecting the the worst.  While not the absolute worst, I wasn't really surprised by what I saw.

I have some background with the comic book and previous film and television versions of the character, and re-imaginings are somewhat common.  Sadly, I think that this is probably the worst Catwoman I am familiar with.  While I found Halle Berry sexy, and she seemed to be trying to do a good job (unlike in her role as Storm in the X-Men series), but I feel that the role itself fell flat.  The character jumped from scared little mouse to uber-slut in a blink of the eye.  While all previous versions of Catwoman turned guys on by being a free-spirit and being cat-like (and using the interest to their advantage).  This one was going out of her way to turn guys on.  In the Batman TV series, both Julie Newmar and Eartha Kitt did very well being sexy without being slutty, as did Michelle Pfeiffer in Batman Returns (which is difficult in a Tim Burton film).  So it was disappointing to see an acting talent like Halle Berry fail to do the same.

While it is explained that a particular breed of cat is believed to have mystic power, and that one of these cats gave Patience (Berry) her cat-like abilities, it is never explained why she in particular was chosen.  Was she genetically suited?  Was she secretly cat-like to begin with?  Did she have a cat-like ancestor?  We will never know.

Then there is the excruciatingly long scene in which she is talking on the phone with a friend and absent-mindedly moving around the apartment like a cat.  While at first it's a nice touch, it quickly becomes "Okay I get it." and moves on to "Get on with it!"

Another failing was in costuming.  When Patience decides to embrace being Catwoman, she dons a very nice, full body, leather outfit, and a jewel trimmed black mask, the effect of which is very sexy.  But then for some unknown reason she switches to a barely there S&M outfit and a rather tall mask that covers all of her head as well as around the nose and eyes.  This doesn't look sexy, it looks trampy and silly. 

Then there are the physics.  While I can accept that she is cat-like and has cat powers now, I have yet to see a cat run up a wall, and traverse the room twice while 90 degrees from the wall (and I've owned cats my entire life).  Cats may be fast, agile, and can appear to defy gravity, eventually, gravity does win.  I also have a problem with a whip that is as effective at 5 feet as it is at what appears to be 20 feet (which also seems like a rather excessive length).  Once again, having actually held a 12 foot leather whip before, I know that the maximum power is at the full length, and anything less decreases it's usefulness.

This movie was a disappointment in directing, producing, and writing.  Because of which, I think it hurts Halle Berry's career.  While I don't absolutely hate the film, it really has nothing going for it.  I think it's an okay thing to watch if it happens to be on late night cable when nothing else is on, but I would suggest you seek it out.

I give this movie a DAGGER, that has been sharpened to purrfection.

-Mornblade

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Movie Review : Swing Vote (2008)

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PeterG once suggested that the hardest movies to review are ones that don't give you something to either hate or praise.  I found Swing Vote to be one of those kinds of film.

Basic plot synopsis... Drunken redneck disappoints politically minded daughter, daughter attempts to commit voter fraud, entire nation is perfectly split between two candidates for president, drunken redneck gets to choose who is next president, hilarity ensues (or rather, is supposed to).

This film doesn't tell us anything we don't already know.  It suggests that stupid people can make or break an election, we know that.  It suggests that Democrats and Republicans both will instantly appear to change everything they stand for if they think they can win an election because of it, we know that.  It suggests that in the end, regardless of promises made early (or in this case late) in the campaign, both Democrats and Republicans will return to their own personal beliefs and agendas, we know that.  It suggests that the best voter is an informed voter, we know that.  It suggests that a young girl is smarter and more compelling than Kevin Costner, we know that too.

While this is a simplistic view of the film, we have to take it as such.  The film makers didn't want to make it complicated.  They focused how one man can turn the tide of a bi-partisan election, and completely ignored the reality of third-party and independent candidates.  Costner's character is an idiotic drunk who likes to talk about how his daughter is everything to him, while he ignores her and takes her for granted.  It's sad really.  His character doesn't grow or catch on until quite literally the last second.

Another thing the film makers didn't expand on was the car on blocks in the redneck's yard.  They make a big deal out of it, Costner complaining about a press guy leaning against it and later singing a song about how he will get it running "someday", but then they stop mentioning it all together.  They set it up to suggest that he is going to suddenly find boxes of car parts on his doorstep, but it never happens.

I watched this movie in hopes of seeing something edgy, something to help shake up the political world, but ended up walking away thinking, "Yeah, whatever."  It just wasn't that interesting of a movie, and at the same time, it's careful not to give the viewer anything to dislike... kind of like a politician.

I have to give this movie a RAPIER.  It's a very middle of the road rapier of average construction, with no features or flaws of any note.

-Mornblade

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Movie Review : Easy Rider (1969)

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Bare with me on this one, as I am doing this from memory.

I have been around motorcycles my entire life, but I never got around to learning to ride and getting a bike until a little over a decade ago.  When I finally did get my motorcycle license, I said to my self, "Now I have to see Easy Rider".  After all, how can you be a biker and not have seen Easy Rider?

Easy Rider is about two drug dealers who have made their big score, and have quit so they can "find America" and find themselves on a motorcycle journey from Los Angeles to New Orleans.  Along the way they make both friends and enemies.  They see different forms of lifestyle, and more than their fair share of bigotry.  Over all, it gives a decent over-view of American life in the late 1960's.

Unfortunately, it's not a documentary, and therefore it needs to be more than an overview of the 1960's.  And that's where problems arise.  While an interesting concept, the reality is that's all it was, a concept.  When Peter Fonda wrote it, there were a handful of ideas, the actual scenes had a basic map, and most of the rest was improvised along the way.  You don't ever really get a sense of the main characters trying to "find themselves" so much as just looking at the scenery.  They see how everyone else lives and they move on.

Probably the most interesting scene was the "LSD trip" scene, that while watching, you almost get a sense of having the "trip" yourself.  Some of the effects used in this scene were amazin... oh, wait, nope.  Some trivia buffs suggest that the effects were a happy accident.  It seems that some footage was accidentally exposed to light before processing.  But I'll still give credit to the producers for keeping it, as the effect is quite marvellous.

As for the main characters, Wyatt (Captain America) seems okay, although you sometimes wonder what he is doing hanging around with Billy.  While Wyatt tends to be quiet, and seems somewhat introspective, Billy is loud, obnoxious, and always causing trouble.  While the characters are opposites, their bikes reflect that as well.  Billy's bike is mildly stretched, has drag-race handlebars, and and only a small grab-bar for a passenger, while Wyatt's has a very long stretch, ape-hanger bars, and a backrest for a passenger.  So, the bike's show some of the character of who rides them.  Billy's is aggressive and doesn't play well with others, while Wyatt's is complicated, laid-back, and can compromise.  Once again, a happy accident.  Peter Fonda was already an accomplished rider, therefore he had a better chance of coping with a radical design bike and having a passenger.  Dennis Hopper wasn't much of a rider, so his bike was set up to be a lot easier to ride.  But hey, it worked.

People have glamorized this movie, saying that this film "inspired a generation to ride".  After having seen the film, I would think it would inspire a generation to stay as far from a motorcycle as possible, seeing as how just about anyone who touched a bike in the movie was dead before the end.  In spite of that, I do have to give the movie a bit of credit.  At a time when everyone else was making "biker gang" movies, about how dangerous bikers are, this movie does stand out as a better representation of motorcyclists in general (still not a great representation, just a better one).

The music throughout the film is very good, the acting is good, the riding scenes are nice, and the scenery is shown well.  The story on the other hand falls a little flat, as there just isn't much there.  So if you are looking for a decent overview of late 1960's culture with some good music and scenic shots, this is the film for you.  P.S. Look for an appearance by a young (and briefly nude) Toni Basil when they get to New Orleans.

I have to give this film a RAPIER with "Live to Ride, Ride to Live" etched on the hand guard.

-Mornblade

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Chex Mix Voting : Lemon Rosemary Chex Mix

Are you looking for a fun new snack to much on while watching movies at home?  Why not try Lemon Rosemary Chex Mix?  A creation of Dawn, a close, personal friend of Review from the Edge, Lemon Rosemary Chex Mix is a finalist in the Chex Mix Recipe Contest.  Please take a few moments to go to the Chex Mix voting site and vote for Dawn's recipe.

You may vote once per day.  Thank you for your time, and your vote.


-Mornblade
 

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Movie Review : Whiteout (2009)

View the Whiteout trailer here.

I feel bad about this.

Really.  I feel really really bad about this.

Whiteout is a movie I've been waiting with anticipation to see.  Based on an acclaimed comic book mini by Greg Rucca, I couldn't wait to see how it turned out.  Kate Beckinsale signed on, and the movie went forward.  Sort of.  The $40 mil budgeted flick apparently was finished two years ago and has been languishing in post, setting off the warning bells in my head.  However, I did not go to see this movie expecting it to be bad.  After all, I love a good mystery story, and if handled right, the film could still deliver the goods.  Unfortunately, the movie falls straight through the ice.  Whiteout takes what could have been an awesome crime story dripping with fear and horror and reduces it to a dull, by-the-numbers flick.

Okay, folks, pull out your Movie Cliche Bingo Cards and your markers, let's play:  US Marshall Carrie Stetko (Beckinsale) has been in Antarctica for two years following a Traumatic Past Experience due to an Arrest Gone Wrong and Deep Personal Betrayal.  The whiteout, a Super Intense Uncontrollable Weather Phenomena, is heading towards the base, and it and the six months of night things are a Ticking Clock.  Just before everyone is to leave, a dead body is found on the ice.  This creates a Dangerous Situation She Must Rise Up And Meet and has to do it Before The Plane Taking Everyone Home Leaves.  Also involved in the mystery is A Mysterious Competing Agent who might or might not Be On Her Side and/or A Potential Love Interest.  A Mysterious Killer Is Loose in the station, and she has to find him quick.  There's Red Herrings, Plot Contrivances, and so on.  Do we have any winners yet?

I give Beckinsale credit for taking the role.  Extremely cute, she doesn't do the Jessica Biel/Megan Fox whine that she's too sexy to get good roles, and taking a role where her character loses a couple of fingers to frostbite is not something I expect from glamorous leading ladies (in fact, plot point or not, I'm surprised the screenwriters didn't blue pencil the amputation out of the script or stick it with some supporting character instead of the star).  Then again, there isn't much dwelling on it, and attention is only really called to it during the Big Reveal at the end of the film proving who was behind the plot.  She continues to look good, giving us a quick fan service shower scene early in the film, her lips don't chap, and unlike us Chicagoans, she never once has to cope with Hat Hair.  At least her make-up is relatively subtle.  In many ways, whatever made her jump at the role, I really wish someone had talked her out of it.  She never really sells the role of a tough-as-nails US Marshall hiding out from herself in the frozen tundra.  The role requires a Linda Hamilton or some other actress that can make you think she can crush your head with her mind.  It is a really bad miscasting job there.

The film is directed by Dominic Sena, purportedly a huge fan of the original GN.  Sena graced us moviegoers with movies like Swordfish, Kalifornia, and Gone In 60 Seconds, so the guy at least knows how to keep a flick moving.  Here, however, his is completely out of his element.  Lots of pans and zooms at dramatic moments, producing a feeling more akin to the NBC Mystery Movie than a white-knuckle thriller.  In fact, part way through, I was having flashbacks to Insomnia and thinking how well the movie could have worked with Christopher Nolan, a guy who KNOWS how to do crime stories, at the helm.

The screenwriting is problematic.  Not only is it by-the-numbers, there are moments that defy basic logic.  Stetko takes a long time to actually retrieve her gun, and rarely has it drawn when going into situations where you'd think she's want it at ready.  It does have some good touches, like characters bowling with a ball made of rubber bands, but those pieces are few and far between.  The film takes time to explain what Whiteout is in a scene that could have been cut to speed things up (there's a big ass storm coming, we don't need to know the meteorological information about it).  The mystery is handled rather ham-handedly, and not only will you figure out the mastermind of the plot really early, but you will hear the sound of the machinery straining to maintain suspense with its red herrings (the contents in the canister, for example, with a moment's thought, reveal it's not just irony but tells you there's an accomplice running around).  The scene where the fingers are amputated, I get what they are trying to show as Stetko tries to be talked through the procedure, but the soft acting and unnatural sounding conversation sap all the drama out of it.  The movie becomes a waiting game as the scenes tick on a lot longer than they really should, with more padding than a head cheerleader's bra.

I'm not sure how many people will notice it, but frankly speaking, I don't like the way the movie is cut.  CGI'ed-in breath in front of faces appears at the wrong times.  The flashbacks explaining Stetko's past are strung out and inserted at odd points.  Every plot point is spelled out and underlined, leading to the most excessive expository overload since Lou Diamond Phillips' character in Bats ("This was no accident."  O'rly?).  The lighting calls attention to itself with its oversimplified use.  The climax in near zero visibility could have really milked the paranoia angle, but never ramps up any serious tension.  Music sounds like one of those atmospheric CD's you get in the housewares section at Walmart.

It makes me feel really bad.  I so wanted this movie to work, to be a good crime story.  It had everything it needed.  And it just doesn't come together.  It is jumbled, hamfisted, and misses the mark wide.  I'd say maybe they'll get it right when they do the second story, Whiteout: Melt, but judging by attendance, this is going to video in a matter of months and getting buried.

I give this movie a DAGGER

-PeterG

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